We Could Be Renegades
by HannahCake310
Summary: "This isn't your first time being in this particular cell, is it?" "Nope." Jim rubbed at the proud grin that threatened his face... Based off the prompt; "Your otp are sitting in jail because one of them is a horrible getaway driver..."


"You are the worst getaway driver in the history of ever." Jim muttered crossing his arms and leaning back on the cold stone of the jail wall. He had one foot curled under his seat while the other was splayed out in front. His hair was slightly rumpled from wandering fingers and his black clothes were dusty from the heist only a few hours ago.

"What did I say?" Leonard stared at the man beside him, still in disbelief at the situation even after hours of being processed and locked away behind thick metal bars. "I said I'm a doctor damnit not a thief!"

Jim smiled chuckling to himself and shaking his head. He was calm and relaxed, so very Jim-like. "Well now you're a guy trapped in a sell so…"

Sputtering, Leonard whipped around to face him even though they were sitting next to each other. "I thought you said you were good at this stuff–"

"I am good at this stuff!" Jim protested. "How was I supposed to know they had infrared sensors with framing and tracking on sight? That shit's like government issue, man."

"God Jim," Leonard put his elbows on his knees in defeat feeling dread churn his stomach. The cuffs they hadn't taken off his wrists bit into his skin and not for the first time he cursed the police. Both he and Jim wore matching long black shirts with black cargo pants, Jim had said it would make them less noticeable but Leonard thought the kid just liked looking at his own ass in the mirror before they'd left their apartment. How did this happen? Why did he agree to this? "I can't believe I let you wrap me into this."

"You came on your own," Jim said seriously. "I just informed you of the benefits you could get by coming."

The night had been long and was just getting longer as Leonard attempted to smother himself with his own hands. A month ago Jim had come up to him asking for his help. The kid said he needed steady hands and a discrete personality. Leonard had known Jim since college and the kid was as mysterious as he was stupid. Sure, he was book smart and even people smart but Jim couldn't keep track of himself. Always ending up in the hospital, always needing to be bailed out of something and usually it was Leonard who came to his rescue. Their relationship was one of strangeness and confusion to onlookers who thought they didn't match. Jim was all bright smiles and smugness while Leonard was a critical realist with a grumbling problem. In college they'd been no more than a quick lay for each other – a way to blow off steam – but then living the college life had grown old, they'd graduated and while their lives took different turns they still managed to stay glued together. It was either Leonard following Jim or Jim running after him, but they made it work.

Leonard cared for Jim and Jim cared for Leonard so fuck everyone else. They could handle themselves.

Except for now. Now they were both screwed.

"Yeah, some benefits. We're going to prison. They're gonna take away my license. Joanna's never going to speak to me again, if her mother even lets her, and I'm going to have to watch out for you so you don't become somebody's prison bitch."

Jim perked up at that stopping the annoying way he'd been picking at his nails. "Hey, wait… Why am I the woman?"

"You got the pretty face."

"I'd punch you right now if my hands were cuffed together." To prove his point he yanked the cuffs around his own wrists. They jingled as metal slid against metal.  
"Oh no, I'm so scared." Leonard deadpanned. Jim shook his head, they both knew who preferred to be the little spoon and Jim was damn proud of it even though he'd never admit to anything.

"Anyways," Jim sobered. "We're not going to prison. I told you, I have hookups."

"I'm not in the mood to hear about your little felon friends." Leonard grumbled shifting his weight so the sharp bones in his butt didn't dig so uncomfortably in to the long bench. "Besides, you work at a repair shop what kind of hookups could you possibly have? Greasers and motor monkeys won't help with our current situation."

"Oh ye of little faith," Jim looked pleased with himself for reasons Leonard didn't understand. He came impossibly closer to Leonard getting right into his personal space and whispering in his ear. "You don't even know what we stole."

"Wait, you grabbed something?" Leaned was also whispering as if the walls had ears. "But the cops got there so fast we didn't have a chance to open the vault."

Shaking his head, his mouth barley moving and his voice coming out a confident but low whisper, Jim cocked his head back. "We didn't need the vault, Bones, I told you. It's not all about money."

Leonard frowned, they'd broken into a company building. Climbed hundreds of steps and lock picked their way into a room with a desk and a safe that Jim hadn't even tried that hard to crack. Now that Leonard thought about it, Jim had only touched the safe once he'd taken off his gloves and while he didn't know much about thievery he did know that the burglars usually kept their gloves on and stayed away from anything they didn't need – like the desk Jim had rummaged around in while Leonard kept lookout. Jim had planned it so they would be in and out in ten minutes tops so at Leonard's call of eight minutes twenty seconds and Jim still hadn't cracked the lock he'd given up and they'd left. No money. They had been caught as soon as they'd jumped into a car Jim had fixed up and procured from the repair shop. An hour of processing later and here they sat. Jim with his usual optimism and Leonard wanting to strangle him.

"This isn't your first time being in this particular jail cell, is it?"

"Nope." Jim rubbed at the proud grin that threatened his face. "What gave it away?"

Leonard nodded over to the wall, "I think that's your name carved into the wall."

"Oh, shut the hell up." Jim used his cuffed hands to smack him before lounging back in his previous lazy pose.

"Nah, I just, I don't know." Leonard was starting to calm down, the scared tingle in his hands that had started when the officer had slammed him to the ground was just now beginning to cease. "You just seem calm with everything. I think I pissed my pants when they took our pictures. But you're just going with the flow. Super chill."

Jim shrugged again, "Yeah well, you do it once you do it a thousand times, it's all the same and I told you everything's fine. I got the files we needed and now we wait to be rescued."

"Files?" Leonard snapped his head around. Jim had said money when he'd pitched this fool hearty plan to him. Leonard had told him they didn't need the money but Jim just had a way with words and Leonard never really could deny his husband anything. "You're tellin' me that I got my ass slammed to the ground, handcuffed and sent to jail just so you could steal a file from – Jim. You've got to be fucking kidding me."

But Jim wasn't about to back down. "Well maybe if you'd watched those videos I gave you about how to be a good getaway driver we wouldn't be in this situation."

"I worked my tail off to become a doctor I think I'm smart enough to drive."

"Clearly you're lacking in some skill."

Leonard wasn't really angry anymore, he'd stopped being surprised by Jim's antics long ago. But all the same he leaned into the younger man's space. "I could spit on you and your stupid ideas."

"Promises, promises." Jim piffed. "Isn't like you haven't done it before."

It was a hard eye roll. One of the hardest Leonard had ever let himself partake in. "You're impossible."

"Nothing's impossible, least of all me. Now just relax Grandpa, I told you we'll only be here for an hour, two tops." Jim seemed to find his cuticles very interesting all of the sudden. His cuffs clinked together while his right booted foot tapped against the ground. Leonard let the small sounds fill the room biting into the sides of his cheeks out of habit as he waited for whatever would come next. The police hadn't said much after they'd had their pictures taken and fingers scanned into the system. They all knew Jim by now but Leonard was a new face with a clean record that had taken longer to process. Leonard closed his eyes shaking his head, he had a record now. He was going to be in the books as being a felon. Wonderful.

"Why did you agree to help me with this?" Jim asked suddenly pulling Leonard from his wandering thoughts. "You could've said no when I asked. You could've turned me into the police and gone on with your day…" Leonard didn't hesitate. He'd learned long ago that even though Jim's brain and intelligence were larger than most he still had a bad habit of jumping to conclusions.

"I wouldn't be a very good husband if I did that, now would I? And the reason I went along, well, who's gonna make sure you don't get you're damn fool ass shot or you don't accidentally fall down the stairs. I couldn't let you go alone."

"Bones I… I have a confession." Leonard angled his body to face Jim's while the younger man swallowed, clearing his throat. His eyes were down turned in guilt. It was the most sheepish Leonard had ever seen. "That company we broke into… That was… that was my stepdad's company."

"What?"

Shit, what did the kid just say?

"Your stepdad is Frank Constantine–" Leonard sputtered.

"Of Constantine Consolidated, yeah. Billionaire and supreme asshole." Jim refused to look up at him keeping his eyes on the stained cement floor with his wrists pushed between his knee caps. He had spoken his secret quietly, for Leonard's ears only.

"Jesus, kid. Guess this never came up during dinner conversations?" Jim had the decency to look chastised but Leonard wasn't all that angry. Even for how long they'd known each other Jim had never been too forthcoming about his family. Leonard had assumed they'd died for how little Jim spoke of anyone related to him. If the subject did ever arise Jim's blue eyes would darken and he would growl about not wanting to talk about it. And Leonard wasn't a stupid man – he knew family issues, he understood wanting to run away from one life to create another. If Frank Constantine was Jim's stepfather then Leonard didn't really blame the kid either. Frank didn't have the best reputation in the business industry. All Leonard knew about him was that he bathed in money and went to court a few years back for abusing his wife and–

"Jim," Leonard started feeling sick but he didn't get any further as an officer clad in uniform escorted a good looking older man with graying hair and a pressed suit into their area.

"Good to see you, gentlemen," the older man smiled. Jim stood up and walked over to the barred door.

"Shit Chris. Took you long enough."

"I can walk back out that door, Jimmy."

"Oh Chrisy!" Jim swooned dramatically. "My knight in shining armor come to rescue me and my bear husband from this dirty cell! Praise thee. Bless you!"

The man apparently named Chris chuckled shaking his head. "All right, all right. Let's get you two out of here."

It was all a mess of movement as officers opened their cell unlocking the cuffs and escorting them out. Leonard walked at Jim's shoulder but didn't say anything even as the younger man laced their fingers together. He did however grip his hand tightly in his own.

They were walked right out of the station collecting their things as they went. The officers looked away as they passed following the silver haired man. Chris had an air of authority about him as they left the building and slid into a large black unmarked car. Jim pulled Leonard in after him and their door was shut without Leonard having to do so. The interior of the car was even nicer than the outside with posh dark leather seating and big enough to fit six comfortably. The seats were arranged so the driver was divided from the passengers with two seats turned backwards facing a long bench that faced the front. Chris took the seat behind the driver while Leonard and Jim sat back against the bench that was a lot more comfortable than jailhouse's bench that had bitten into their backs. With a flick of Chris's hand the divide between driver and passengers went up and the car took off from the station.

"Would someone explain what the hell is going on." Leonard demanded but he hadn't seemed to have been heard as Chris turned his attention to Jim looking for all intents and purposes like a proud father would gaze upon son.

"You get it?"

"Yep. It's all on the USB." Jim was quiet. His voice certain but low.

"Good man," Chris had cluster of crow's feet that were prominent beside either eye as he smiled. "Now we can take that son of a bitch down."

Jim crossed his arms laying his head against the window and deflating as if some large weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His body sagged like he'd just thrown off the burden of Atlas. "Can't wait."

"Alright!" Leonard practically yelled fed up with being so far out of the loop that he figured he should just make his own. "What the fuck is happening right now."

The old man in front of them let a small lopsided grin overtake part of his face. "You're very tactful, Dr. McCoy." Leonard bit back his retort as Chris continued to speak.

"Along with being abusive," Jim looked away pretending to be fascinated by the passing cars on the freeway. "He's been embezzling for years. Offshore accounts and hidden marketers. He's been smart though, kept everything good and untraceable until now. Spook and Jim have been working for months on breaking past firewalls and encryptions to get into just one of their banks hidden records. Two months ago they found a breach and we got far but didn't have enough evidence. We needed a passcode that couldn't be hacked. Luckily we have someone on the inside and they got a copy but something went wrong which is why I asked Jim to retrieve it."

"And we just happened to break into the one office room with a big ass safe." The pieces were slowly falling into place.

"No, that was planned. We needed to make sure they thought you had a motive. Break into the room with the safe and ten out of ten assume you're going for the money."

"But Jim went for the desk… I understand." Sort of. Kinda. It was all very blurry but he did make some sense of it. Leonard turned his head to look at Jim who hadn't said a word for a while. The kid was licking his lips, a nervous tick that gave him away.

"I'm sorry for not telling you, Bones. I figured if you didn't know anything you'd be safer–"

Leonard wrapped his arm around his husband's shoulder bringing him close. He did understand why Jim had kept this secret. Being related to one of the most hated business men this side of the United States wasn't something he would announce to everyone either. "It's alright darlin', just promise me no more secrets."

Jim snuck a quick kiss on Leonard's lips. "No more secrets," he whispered.

"You boys did well," Chris decided to interrupt their moment. Jim drew away from him remembering they were still in the man's car. "Though next time, try not to get caught."

"Hey it wasn't my fault, talk to Mr. I Don't Need to Watch a Stupid Video About Driving Fast, Jim."

Not wasting a second Leonard swatted at the back of his head. "Ow!" Smiling a menacing grin Leonard brought both hands up. "My hands aren't cuffed, now I can kick your ass."

"Pike!"

"You're on your own, kid." Pike situated himself down in his seat pulling out his phone to press a few buttons and click at the screen. Leonard's eyes grew dark, his signature Jim's gonna get it face that he usually reserved for the kid when he was about to prick him with a needle or shove medicine down his throat.

"Let's see, we were in that cell for about two hours and twenty minutes so I would say about a hundred slaps on the back of the head should suffice."

"Stay away from me you monster. Help! Spousal abuse. I don't know him. Stranger danger!" Jim jumped to the seat beside Chris who didn't take his eyes off his phone.  
"Jim get back here so I can kick your ass!"

"Catch me if you can Mr. Grumpy Pants."

"Stop with the nicknames!" Leonard growled lunging for his husband in the small space. Somehow the skinny blonde man ducked away ending up back in his seat while Leonard found himself where Jim had once been. "Jim!"

And Jim just laughed. It was a happy, joyous sound that Leonard vowed to do everything he could to ensure he heard every day for the rest of his life.


End file.
